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Noel Gallagher wants to create a political movement called The After Party.
The ex-Oasis rocker, 56, added the tagline for his party would be ‘It’s Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better’, and added he would also have a face-off with Vladimir Putin if he found himself leading Britain.
Noel told his friend Matt Morgan, 47, on the comedy writer’s podcast: “My party – it’d be called The After Party, and the strapline would be ‘It’s Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better.’
“I’d say, ‘I told you it was going to get worse,’ but then it would be better.
“I could deal with these Russians.
“I’d just sit Putin down, and say, ‘Look, little guy – alright mate? What seems to be the problem?... What would you do if I taught you play guitar? Leave the Ukrainians alone?’
“Then I’d go all gangster and say, ‘Mate, look at you. I don’t (care.)
“The missiles wouldn’t even get out of the bunker, mate. I’m going to annihilate you. One phonecall, and you’re toast – literally toast.’”
Despite being convinced he could effectively rule the UK and threaten despots, Noel admitted he has no interest in the details of current affairs.
He added: “I don’t want to know – the only news I listen to is on the radio. I listen to the news bulletins, and that’s all you need is the headlines: ‘Britain and America have bombed the Houthis’ and ‘The Cabinet voted against the Rwanda bill’.
“That’s all you need to know, you don’t need to get into it.
“I think ignorance is bliss.”
Noel also bragged he would make a top Prime Minister as he would make “bi-annual health checks compulsory”.
He joked if people didn’t improve themselves after being given advice following the check-ups he would have them shot.
Noel said: “I’d say to people, ‘Right, well you’re not in decent shape here. We’ll see you in two years and give them a plan on how to get healthy.’ And if you’ve stayed the same or deteriorated, well then, ‘I’m sorry – it’s on you.’
“If you show some kind of willing to get healthy, then that’s different… we can see if they have changed their diet or got more exercise.
“And then if they didn’t – I would shoot them.”
The ex-Oasis rocker, 56, added the tagline for his party would be ‘It’s Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better’, and added he would also have a face-off with Vladimir Putin if he found himself leading Britain.
Noel told his friend Matt Morgan, 47, on the comedy writer’s podcast: “My party – it’d be called The After Party, and the strapline would be ‘It’s Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better.’
“I’d say, ‘I told you it was going to get worse,’ but then it would be better.
“I could deal with these Russians.
“I’d just sit Putin down, and say, ‘Look, little guy – alright mate? What seems to be the problem?... What would you do if I taught you play guitar? Leave the Ukrainians alone?’
“Then I’d go all gangster and say, ‘Mate, look at you. I don’t (care.)
“The missiles wouldn’t even get out of the bunker, mate. I’m going to annihilate you. One phonecall, and you’re toast – literally toast.’”
Despite being convinced he could effectively rule the UK and threaten despots, Noel admitted he has no interest in the details of current affairs.
He added: “I don’t want to know – the only news I listen to is on the radio. I listen to the news bulletins, and that’s all you need is the headlines: ‘Britain and America have bombed the Houthis’ and ‘The Cabinet voted against the Rwanda bill’.
“That’s all you need to know, you don’t need to get into it.
“I think ignorance is bliss.”
Noel also bragged he would make a top Prime Minister as he would make “bi-annual health checks compulsory”.
He joked if people didn’t improve themselves after being given advice following the check-ups he would have them shot.
Noel said: “I’d say to people, ‘Right, well you’re not in decent shape here. We’ll see you in two years and give them a plan on how to get healthy.’ And if you’ve stayed the same or deteriorated, well then, ‘I’m sorry – it’s on you.’
“If you show some kind of willing to get healthy, then that’s different… we can see if they have changed their diet or got more exercise.
“And then if they didn’t – I would shoot them.”